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Case of the Ex : My boyfriend was someone else’s fiancé and I didn’t know

This story was supposed to be a romantic one. However, it has been realised that it was all an insidious lie that shook… my… World. There’s just too many things that’s been said and done that to butter you up for what will end as a nightmare, just isn’t kind.

I know I know, I’m a bad story-teller. I gave it all away before I even started. Despite the spoiler alert, if you can survive this article, I will reveal to you the tell tale signs someone is hiding something from you.


Once upon a Nightmare... in 2015

The story begins as a suggestion by “somebody” let’s call her Laura, to set up a Tinder account.

For the life of me, as old or as young as I am (in whatever perspective you’d like to see me) , I do not know what in the world is Tinder. I mean I’ve heard of it before definitely but I did not know what horrible misdeeds actually happens on this platform.

Yeah, it’s sad. I know. I’m so naive. I’m not into what trends the kids are into nowadays. And I’m so… not tech savvy.

So I was single at that time and one after another disappointing date turn-outs, Laura decides to introduce me to the world of online dating.

I got on it for three days. Then I deleted the app cos it didn’t look like something I liked or even wanted to embark further on. It seemed like a scary platform and I wanted out.

Then a week goes by and I got bored and downloaded it again. This time, I made better connections. Seemed legit. There was this one guy, he travels too, spoke to me respectfully, sounds like an intelligent guy , attractive and somewhat funny. I figured hmm a gentleman…ok I can get with this vibe and we met.


So on our first date, we had Starbucks and chatted , then realised that we had seen each other before at a WWE event not too many months ago (prior to this meeting). You must be wondering what I was doing at a WWE event. Well, that’s another story.

Anyway, I remember seeing this guy (at the WWE event), a few seats away from me and I was like “wow” he’s so cute but I bet he’s either taken or gay. They always are.

So he remembered me too. He could describe me to the tee. He remembered exactly what color jeans I had on that night and what I was doing. He even had a picture of the event and he showed me where I was in the picture. Pushing through the crowd and all. This was like a new age fairy tale and I was taken. Drifting into the world of infatuation.

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The Digital Fairytale

We noticed each other before we even met. How cool was that ? I was swept into this other realm where people born in February (that’s me) thrive in a fantastical world of love and mystery. I always do. I’m a lover not a fighter. It’s some innate thing I just can’t shake off.

He was exciting, respectful, loving, thoughtful, caring and all the things that you’d like in a guy. I thought I hit the jackpot. Finally someone who complements my character and my beliefs.

So he asked me to attend a company event as his date ( which was in three months time) , and I splurged and bought a few dresses for it. Going facetime, showing him what I bought. Asked him to choose what I should wear and all. Super stoked. We even discussed holidays and family outings. It was like a good life all planned out.

Deep down though, I had a really biting feeling that it’s too good to be true. And man, was I right!

The Clues

We dated for a couple of months. So in my eyes yes, he was my boyfriend. But after I knew the truth that it was all fake? In reality, he was not. And never was, in his context. I was just another side chick to him and that was all, I presume. I still don’t know till this day.

So anyway, being with him for those many weeks, very so often, he’d bring up how great I was compared to his ex fiancé .

He’d say things like, why didn’t we meet when he was in Poly ( I’m six years older than him by the way) , why was it now and etc. He’d say that I made him feel comfortable in his own skin and that he could be truly himself with no fear unlike when he was with his ex.

So I was doing my best to make him realise that the future is all we have now and isn’t it great that we met now ? Such apt timing for me and him to be together. Things are looking pretty good right ? So he needn’t worry. So why? Why was he making all these comments that’s supposedly cathartic but yet it wasn’t.

So the oddity was, that it felt more like a conscience speaking out loud. It’s like he’s saying indirectly , “I’m saying this cos it really is too late and I really do wish that we met earlier. And how do I break it to you that I’m actually someone’s fiancé ? ”


Side note, a friend saw a photo of us on Facebook and called me out on it. She told me that he was a bad guy, that he was her ex. And she warned me that he’s really bad news. And that she was confused as she thought that he was about to be married to someone. She felt perturbed that I was declaring that he was my boyfriend. She couldn’t understand it.

So I told her that he did say to me that he recently broke up with his ex fiancé a few months ago. “I’ll see how this goes down” , I told her and thanked her for the heads up though I’d really love to catch this deception in the act, myself. The thing is, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Even if they’re known to be what they are. I always do. That’s just me.

The reason why is that I know for a fact that people are different with certain people. So I always give anyone the opportunity to prove otherwise. I always believe that someone has the power to change if they really wanted to. And he was treating me right so far so I had no complaints. I prayed to God to let this not be true. And if it was, he had to confess, no matter what .


The Slow but Painful Reveal

So two months passed and there was this week where he told me that he didn’t want to go home. He stayed in at work and avoided his mother, his family.

He was supposed to let me know what was going on but he kept wanting to avoid the inevitable confession regarding this disappearing act from his family.

So he let me know a week later after much persistence from me.

He finally told me the bad news.

He said he was forced to patch back and marry his ex-fiancé by order of his mother. And that’s the reason why he’s been avoiding everyone .

tenor

I was like “what the (insert explicit remark) ?” Right? This can’t be happening. I was trying to figure out how to help us. It didn’t even dawned on me that he could’ve been lying this whole time and whatever that came out from his mouth was total utter nonsense that he just made up, making him look like the good guy. I didn’t even think that initially. Can you believe that? I had so much faith in this stranger.

So I told him that he’s an adult and no one can force him to marry someone he doesn’t love. To no avail, my suggestions had fallen on deaf ears. He said he had to abide as his mother gave all the reasons that prevented him from saying no.

I still couldn’t believe it. So guess what I did ?

Guess? Guess?

I went

and bought

a ring.

Bloody hell, I did.

by tenor

I could hear a thousand bucks flushing down the toilet as I purchased this last resort to save “the love of my life”. I know it’s stupid and you do really stupid things for love, I still hadn’t learnt my lesson.

Fun fact : I’ve been in a position before in the past that I did not fight for the love of my life and I lost him to a girl he met one month after our break up and then married her like that (snap). Despite ” Laura” trying to patch us up by letting him know that I still love him very much, he decided to choose this young pre school teacher and now they have two kids together blah blah blah happily ever after. Whatever. The end.

by tenor

So this “romantic act” was actually a redemption of my past. I have never proposed to any man before and somehow I just had the bad luck of choosing to propose to this guy (of all… the human beings on this Earth…) I know right . He didn’t give an answer to my proposal , as expected . He just kept the ring. He looked down in sadness and helplessness (or so it seemed).

I was just confused as to why he can’t just stand up for himself. You know that dazzled, like huh?… kinda can’t believe this sh$t is happening kinda look.

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Yeah that look. I squinted a lot because of utter disbelief that he was just not going to do anything about it. You know how much I squinted my eyes during this whole traumatic process?

by tenor

He spent all his remaining days with me after this reveal though. I didn’t know when or where he was going to get married. I was out of my mind cos he didn’t want to do anything about it. So why am I still hanging around?

I really honest to God thought that this “forced arranged marriage bullshit” was legit. Thinking he was roped into this mess and was powerless to change his circumstance.

So the reason I was still hanging around was that I had empathy for his situation. Thinking that this was an issue of survival for our love. We’ve got to save our love, right?

WRONG.

by tenor

Boy, I’m so naive. I trust too easily. I’m a sucker.

D-Day

His family members were looking for him, he told me as he put down the phone after he finished texting someone. We were indulging in a bowl of Maggie noodles that he had cooked for me ( I became unwell and he was taking care of me at that time ). I was trying to grasp everything that’s been going on, still trying to figure it out while I’m downing this Maggie noodles . Maybe I should kidnap him ? Maybe I should stalk him and show up at his wedding? Well, it was a thought. Time was running out.

I could see hair dye that stained his ears and his sideburns, it was the preparation for his wedding. I just looked at him in disbelief. I can’t believe it’s ending like this. Was this a nightmare live on SNL? Some sick joke? Am I pranked?

After all the hard work of going through the things I had to go through, I finally found my precious gem and now he’s going to be taken away from me, against his will? This was an impossible unfortunate event. Remember that at this time, I still think that he was roped into an arranged marriage and that he’s innocent. It was a reality I couldn’t understand and accept. I was in shock for three weeks.

The Cat’s Out of The Bag Bro

Image : Vadim B

So we stopped seeing each other as a sign of the end of our time since there’s no choice left but to accept the inevitable. He didn’t tell me when he was getting married. And I never asked. So during this now free time, I actually did some trolling and found out that the day he made me Maggie was actually the day before he got married. Or was it two days before? Hmm… something like that.

I was trapped between sad and appalled . I couldn’t believe it. I had mixed feelings. I was so angry. I was also confused because I hadn’t and couldn’t confront him about this new finding. I didn’t know whether this was the most romantic gesture that anyone had ever done for me (staying with me till the end that is) or was it some sick pathological mind game by a two-timing pro?

I know, I know, it’s the latter. I was so furious that I felt like this could be labeled as the Greatest Con Job I had ever experienced in my life. After that November 2015, we did not speak for years until…

We finally had “The Talk”

3 years had gone by, my father had just passed away in October 2018. I get a message from you know who in early 2019 to meet up and we did, in the pretense that he was meeting up to wish condolences and catch up and maybe give me back the ring (or so I thought ) . He was already married with a child by this time.

I myself, was already married too and I had told my husband about this meetup. So I came prepared. I had two friends waiting in the cafe next door, just in case any funny business went down.

You know what ?

All I wanted was, my ring back. Cos to be honest, I already know what the truth was. I just needed it to come out from his mouth. But by the time we got to talking, it felt like the good old days. It was nice, just sitting there, talking. Those simple conversations that we use to have. I forgot the horrible act he did to me. Instead I remembered how kind he was when he was with me. How generous and sweet and all that jazz. He did do a kindness which I never forgot. I don’t forget anyone who does a kindness to me. But this doesn’t relieve him from the injustice he had done.

Closing The Book

Image: Freestocks

The ring has no monetary value at this point. It’s just that I needed closure and the ring was a symbol of the “The Great Con ” that I had to destroy and I desperately wanted it back so I can do what I want with it ( it’s considered mine anyway ) . I wanted to close the book and be rid of this. The reason why the book wasn’t closed was because I knew he was lying through his teeth and I needed the truth to set me free.

I have experienced much unkindness done to me throughout all my years of relationships and I wasn’t going to let this one slide . And to whatever injustice that I’m not able to seek for myself, I surrender to God’s will and let Him seek the justice for me.

So I asked him yet again to tell me what exactly happened. And he painted the same story with lesser details. Oh I remember the details like it was yesterday. I remember asking him the first time ( in 2015 ) to be descriptive in how he confronted his mother and his “ex” about this. This was how he told it.

During the first time he told me the story in 2015, he had said that he confessed to his mother and his “ex fiance” that he doesn’t want to marry her due to her behaviours and character.

According to him, his mother was so upset, cried her eyes out and spoke about how his late dad had asked to make a promise to marry this girl. And his “ex fiance” had also cried and promised him that she’ll change to be a better partner for them in marriage.

I asked him to describe to me the scene of how this story was flowing. So he told a simple story line with believable landmark points. Like , came into the house , greetings , started to speak , brought mother and her into the bedroom to discuss , crying and upset etc.

As he was telling this story, he left out details, so I asked, ” Where was everyone seated, what was their positions? What exactly was being said word to word and how was everyone’s reaction when you said this and that? ”

Ok let me reveal the flaw here. The story line was too simple, there was no dramatic effect because a huge thing like this will definitely cause an emotional disturbance when telling the story. There was none. There was no genuine sincerity when he told this story. So it’s either he was lying or he’s an emotionless human being.

So coming back to 2019 (cafe scene) , after having a really nice refreshing chat, a few tears and reminisces later , we ended the meet with great disappointment that he didn’t even had the decency to bring the ring he owed. So I took in the story he re-told me and didn’t make a big deal out of it even though I know it was a lie. I just smiled and smiled cos I was thinking what a waste of a human specimen. He is capable of being better than this Lie Generator that he is but he just doesn’t want to give up the game. Anyway, we made peace and went our ways.

Many have speculated that he had pawned the ring. Which is highly likely. I didn’t buy the whole “I put the ring in my bullet proof vest to remind me of us” BS .

He said, if he gave it back to me it would mean the end of us. That was the reason he didn’t want to give the ring back. And in my head I was like, ” IT IS…. THE END OF US YOU SONNOMA BEECH” .

by tenor

So a few more months went by, we met again . He wanted to have a cup of coffee with me and I said ok. This time, I’m determined for him to spit it out cos he was still retelling the same bullshit that time we met , remember ?

tenor

So I asked him again, this time with specifics. “Were you or were you not someone’s fiancé when we were together?” It was pointless hiding the truth any longer cos I had already found out the truth. So? He finally caved. He admitted. In the very troubling one to two words. Or nod I think. I can’t remember if there were actual words.

I knew this settled my heart though it’s still not justified. He never showed remorse or said he was sorry about his deception . Nothing. No apology or whatsoever. With the ” Tidak Apa Attitude” ( Can’t Be Fxkin Bothered kinda attitude ) . We finally said the last goodbye and we were done.

I always had a really strong feeling that there was something very wrong about him being so Mr Right, from the beginning.

I just didn’t know what it was. And maybe I wanted to deny the blinding truth because he was like the ideal match and I just wanted this fairytale relationship to be real . I somehow already knew he was going to break up with me. I just didn’t know how and why. But he did. And it was one of the most cruelest things anyone had ever done to me. It was not the break up that ruined me, it was the relentless deception behind it. Still trying to manipulate me without remorse. No guilt at all.

This experience years ago, made me so broken and scarred that I cried and cried till I went partially and temporarily deaf in the left ear. I had inflamed my eardrums and damaged it. That’s how much I cried, people . I cried myself to deaf. Literally.

I couldn’t hear properly for a good two months and struggling with vertigo. The doctor told me that I had to quit my job cos it would just put pressure on it and I might go permanently deaf in that ear. Oh well, I’m still working .

The thing about this hard hit was that at that time, I had just recovered from a previous relationship that took me years to recover from. It was the “fun fact” relationship I wrote above. And just when I started opening myself up to someone again and learned to trust my instincts, this horror of a movie script happened. And I was back to square one. All those years scrapping myself up from the bottom of the sea, tanked in three months with this guy.

Ok Ok, now that you know the story, let’s break it down.

1. He has been doing this two timing performance since way back when. These are according to sound witnesses. Again not according to me. So they say that he’s a professional at this.

2. He painted a front that seem so real. He made it look legit. An example would be this one time where he brought me to Universal Studios for Halloween. We bumped into his colleagues, they were queuing up 4 lines down from us. He didn’t even let go of my hand or try to hide me from them . That’s why I thought he had nothing to hide and that he’s trustworthy. Cos he behaved so nonchalantly. Waving and nodding at them. They had no bad reaction too. No hard looks at him so I never suspected anything was up. Even though they smirked at him, I didn’t take it as a sign cos I was too focused on him, loving him. This was how we walked in public anywhere, anyway. No hiding, no fuss, no sudden throwing off my hand to the side or covering his face. None.

3. No one asked him the right questions. And he did all the “right” things to cover his tracks. Ok I’m sure many of us are guilty of this at some point. If I’m not being asked about it, I don’t have to tell and therefore I’m technically not lying. Right?

WRONG! Hiding information is also a form of lying . Feed that to your conscience.

tenor

4. He had talked about “future plans” even though he knew he was going to break up with me by October or November . Like why??

Now this, confused me. Why go through all that trouble of telling me that there was a DnD when you know I won’t be there cos you’re going to bring your “wife” to the damn thing anyway. It was nonsense. The effort of lying till this far was absurd. It was like a waste of energy. Why did he say it then? To make him believable to the end. That’s why.

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5. According to sources that has experienced him, he was a scam. He was a scam based on his own doings. The facts were there, you can’t escape it. After our breakup, I saw one of his photos on IG (this brief moment he put it to public) and guess what ? He had a picture of her on a dinner outing and I looked at the date.

Mother of … (insert explicit remark) we were still dating at that time O K A Y . We met in August, together as a couple in September and all the way through till the first week of November. That photo was taken on a date night with her in October man . Now that’s just below the belt. And the caption suggests that it is a current relationship still going on strong. Which confirms it. He was a two timer. He was someone’s fiance and lied to me for being single. I was this naive side chick that he’s been keeping before he got married. I was snooked and I found out too late. He got away with it without a scratch.

by tenor

In my mind, I was punching him MMA style and my words were, ” You despicable animal.” I had nightmares okay. Like full blown nightmares. I dreamt that he was in an accident and he was reaching out to me at my bedroom window, stretching his arms out, regurgitating blood. It was disturbing. My mind keeps showing me all these horror scenes of his gruesome death. I was so affected. The nightmares stopped after two years, thank God .

6. He was a pathological liar. Again, I must press that this is only based on his own actions, of what people experienced from him. Cos to tell you the truth, I honestly don’t know him. Since being with him was all a great lie, I’m sure whatever character he showed me was also not entirely true. I wouldn’t know how to vouch for him. I can’t differentiate the real him and the fake him and that’s his fault.

In an article by Sam Becker of Showbiz Cheatsheet, the “4 Signs that Someone is a Compulsive Liar” (Nov 2016), Becker states,

” A compulsive liar is someone who lies… well, with compulsion. They have little, if any, control over it. Their lying is constant and habitual, and they seemingly tell lies for no reason at all. On the other hand, pathological liars do so with some sort of intent. They lie to get what they want through manipulation.”

So at the end of the day, he manipulates with intent.

7. I knew what I was getting myself into.

So I know it sounds like I’m the victim here but I’ll be honest, I already knew something bad was going to happen with this guy. I had on a parachute when I jumped off this plane but I didn’t know how hard the landing was going to be. I just didn’t know when and how. I know I know… why dive into the fire if you obviously know you’re going to get burned, right? It’s stupid and it’s suicide.

The reason is, I just wanted to experience him and I believe that people have the power to change due to circumstance and certain life changing events. Not that I was going to change him but the potential of him evolving was there. The opportunity presented itself. And sometimes people arrive at their turning point under the right conditions.

Now of course this is subjective to many factors but based on this case scenario, these were my findings. This was how I knew he was up to no good from the beginning and the reason why I had on an emotional parachute during this whole fiasco.

The tell tale signs:

A) On our first date, during the ice breaking, he hesitated to describe his past. He gave me a simple yes and no, one word answers to serious questions. He didn’t carry on the conversation about his personal life until I questioned him more in depth.

Then he revealed that he just broke up with his ex fiance in Feb . Ok, let me share something about human behaviour, people will naturally share at least a very little snippet of who they are. When people talk about relationships, they will naturally reveal their most recent experience. Even for introverts. It’s just basic.

This is how natural flow of communication should be like. You begin to introduce yourself with the intent of associating and connecting with the other person . But if you’re on a date and you have to keep asking and digging someone for information during their introduction, it feels somewhat forced, it means they have something to hide (first clue) take note.

B) So breaking up an engagement is a major event right? But when he shared it, he seemed indifferent. No stories why, what happened, what went wrong etc. When they describe a major event in a nonchalant way with no details, no real emotion, that’s another tell-tale sign (second clue) .

C) People in new relationships are usually excited. They’ll tell their besties and close buddies at work or maybe a close family member. This is how a normal person acts. So by this time of like a month or so, you would definitely hear him telling you about what his friends are saying and teasing about this new relationship that you have. If you hear nothing about his bestie’s teasings by the first month, either you’re dating a man in his 60’s, he’s a serial killer who lives under a stone or you are his best kept secret (third clue) .

D) He told me that he still has his ex’s photos on his social media accounts ( Facebook and Instagram eg. ) and he hasn’t gotten the time to delete them. Truth is, he didn’t take the liberty to take it down because he can’t take it down. So because of this he doesn’t want to add you. If he delays or refuses to share his social media account with you, he most probably is in a relationship (fourth clue).

By the way, I just learned this. I know I learned it a bit too late cos I thought he was an honest man but hey, I’m sharing this with you now. I learned that lesson the hard way. I mean I knew he was a secretive person but I never expected him to be deceptive. Anyway…moving on.

E) He works in a place where he shares a bunk with other team mates. In a common room. None of his team mates ever came over to see who he’s talking to on the phone or laptop during our facetime. He positioned himself in such a way that his team mates won’t be able to see the screen. So they don’t even know if he’s talking to someone. If they knew he was talking to his girlfriend, this so-called “new” relationship , men in uniform will naturally tease each other and want to take a peek at the girl he’s chatting with. This did not happen. It’s not my first time being in a relationship with men in uniform by the way. So I found it strange. When nobody in his real life has ever seen you that’s another sign (fifth clue). I never formally met any of his friends or family. I should’ve guessed it. It was dodgy.

Again I must address that this doesn’t apply to all situations and people but 90% of the time, it does. So access at your own discretion.

You may say, oh some people are just respecting their privacy and they don’t give away all this info on the first date, maybe they don’t like everyone knowing about a relationship until they’re set in stone for some reason, maybe you’ll even think oh some info are just not for the masses and they have every right to keep things from you and only share a part of themselves that they want to share.

You are not wrong to think that at all. But then again there’s always two sides of a coin isn’t there? If someone who you think is a criminal could be proven innocent, don’t you think that there’s definitely a possibility that someone who seems like the most innocent next door neighbour type could be a murderer ?

My take is if someone is so secretive and private about who they are, then they shouldn’t have any business trying to get to know someone/anyone. If you’re not willing to share your true self then it’s fallacious and I don’t think I can trust someone like that and you shouldn’t trust someone like that.

Something to think about.

Ok what can we learn from this ?

  1. You have the power to ask for forgiveness by coming clean and the power to forgive. So why not? Seek the person you’ve wronged and ask for forgiveness. And forgive them even if they don’t come forward to ask for your forgiveness. It’s ok.
  2. Like many events in our lives, we are always presented with the opportunity to do the right thing. But fear, infatuation , greed, lust, envy, hate and vanity always gets in our way to decide better. So make better decisions. When evil overwhelms you, fight back and do the right thing instead.
  3. Deeply look at it from all angles when you get a hint of doubt. If your gut tells you it’s fishy, it most probably is. So investigate first and don’t invest too much of yourself into this relationship. It could be false.
  4. Never judge anyone from any occupation as a reflection of their character trait. The profession might be noble, that doesn’t necessarily make a person noble. And vice versa.
  5. Understand that irresponsible actions do leave stone carved memories of pain in people. It is unkind when you meddle with other people’s emotions and mental health for your own benefit. Even though you may think they can handle it.

We always leave out the collateral damage around us. Our spouse, our children, our families and hurting the innocent bystander . Cos we only think about ourselves and we are blinded by our pleasures, desires and self -interests . And when you get too used to doing all this, your mind begins to accept it as the norm. And doing wrong becomes okay. Normal. That’s when it gets dangerous because you resort to lying profusely and habitually. And with intent to manipulate you evolve into a pathological liar .

To be fair, we all lie. Each and everyone of us, in some occasional and small ways. Depending on the situation. Sometimes we lie big to save a marriage and sometimes we lie small to save someone else . But to do it all the time and especially with the intention to manipulate, aaah… that is cancerous.

Repeating wrong behavior and adopting a bad belief system just sabotages your psyche’s eco-system . You then, indulge and keep carrying on bad intentions cos it’s a rush. It’s an addiction. This is in the case of pathological or compulsive liars. And to you, there are no immediate consequences. But trust me, there’s always consequences to your actions.

According to studies, there are no definite motives to why people lie compulsively . It spans to many reasons, one being an abnormality in hormone-cortisol ratio, the other is wanting to gain acceptance or to be seen as a hero. Another is that they’re just inviting sympathy to boost their morale or ego.

Most times, it comes to no benefit but just a really bad disorder. It’s when you evolve into this path of manipulation that could damage many things besides relationships. Your self esteem, your integrity , your life outlook and more. It can mentally destabilise you without you even knowing it.

So be careful. If you think you have the rest of your life to screw things up, you’re right. Just don’t screw up other people. You wanna do bad things? Make sure there’s no collateral. Make sure your bad deed doesn’t ricochet to an innocent, I can not emphasise this more.

Do your best to not hurt or manipulate others, intentionally . All ill intent towards others is self serving and toxic.

Coming to the end…

Some people get scarred for life due to your recklessness. How would you feel if your parents knew that their child was this master manipulator? Did you think about your own children ? How about if someone hurt your children like that ? Cos you know what goes around comes full circle, right ? That’s just the way of the universe . Would you be able to face the consequences ? Karma? Kifarah? Subconsciously following the same script that you wrote .

I just feel absolutely blessed that I dodged that missile. Always trust in the Al-Mighty’s ways. There’s always a reason why things don’t work out. It’s to bring you towards better things, greater more valuable gems.

So take every experience as it is. There’s always a take away. It’s also God speaking to you about You. It’s a lesson for you to learn from.

You may think it’s all about the villain right? HAha, you are wrong yet again. It’s about You actually. There is always a hidden message (lesson) behind every trial, every heartbreak , every failure. And that message is specifically for You . And it’s going to be sent to you, again and again until you reach the Aha moment. And that’s why it had to happen to me.

tenor

But even through all this pain and injustice, remember not just the evil parts. Remember the kindness too. However small the act.
No one is perfect. Not you, not me. We’re no angels on Earth but we always strive to do our best. Every person has their light and their dark side. So judge sparingly and judge based on your own experience of anyone. Everyone’s opinion of anyone is based on that anyway. Their own experiences. This was mine.

I leave you with this last thing .

” Wisdom, is a fire that needs to be shared. It’ll turn to ashes if you just don’t care.” – LM

So start to care about what you do and what you say. Share the wisdom of your experiences or where you see fit.

This is why I’m sharing my experience with you. If there are golden nuggets you can take away, I’ve done my job.

Love and Peace ,

LM

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